Spite Club
by MystikSpiralChick
Summary: The fanfiction before Mystique's Spiral...Some things must be told, Daria finally realizes it... Plzz Read and Reply!!


Who knew?  
  
(Opening Scene: Daria and Jane walking home from school on Friday.)  
Daria: So then, Mrs. Manson says to me, "Daria, what do you see in this picture?" and I say, "A young girl determined to make in big in the outside world. She has dreams aspirations and hopes. She wins Oscars for best actress and is adored by many. Except one young singer who turns out to be her lucky star." And then Mrs. Manson says, "No, Daria, that's the plot of a song." And so I shrug and leave.  
  
Jane: A song? Daria, have you been watching Sick, Sad World behind my back again?  
  
Daria: I don't know. The only time I ever see you is in school, so my guess is yes.  
  
Jane: Oh no. Here we go again.  
  
Daria: Do you always have to be with Tom? He told me your relationship wasn't going to shake our friendship.  
  
Jane: Daria, if you had ever been in love, maybe you'd realize that- (sees she's hit a sore subject) I mean-  
  
Daria: Don't apologize. You didn't do anything. Made me feel a tad insecure about myself, but whatever. I gotta go.  
  
Jane: Daria, wait-  
  
Daria: Later.  
  
(Tom's car pulls up to Jane.)  
  
Tom: Need a ride home?  
  
Jane: Okay. I don't have anyone else to walk with. (Gets in.)  
  
Tom: Trouble in paradise?  
  
Jane: Hardly. I hit a sore subject with Daria and she ran off.  
  
Tom: Oh? What was that?  
  
Jane: The fact she's never been in love.  
  
Tom: Ooh. But Jane, you haven't known her all her life. How do you know she's never been in love? Weren't there those two Highland guys she used to hang around?  
  
Jane: Yeah, but she would never like them.  
  
Tom: Do you know for sure?  
  
Jane: Well, no.  
  
Tom: There you go.  
  
Jane: Looking Pitiful. How do you knock me off my feet so well?  
  
Tom: It's something you learn in private school. So are we still on for tomorrow night?  
  
Jane: Tomorrow night?  
  
Tom: Yeah. You remember, don't you?  
  
Jane: Yeah. Yeah I do. Cool. Pick me up at seven, okay?  
  
Tom: Yep.  
  
(Fade into Daria lying on her bed, watching TV. She finds Sick, Sad World.)  
  
Announcer: She sold her a horse but delivered a mule! The horse seller on the roof, next on sick, Sad World.  
  
(Daria dozes off. Scene: back in highland. She is sitting in the middle of Beavis and butt-head.)  
  
Beavis: Kiss me, Diarrhea!  
  
Butt-head: No way dumbass. She's mine. Come to Butt-head.  
  
Daria: I don't like either of you. Go away.  
  
Beavis: Don't you want to, like, do it, Diarrhea? You'll be with two men.  
  
Butt-head: (does his huh-huh thing) You said men.  
  
Daria: (Holds her head with her hands) Oh, god.  
  
Butt-Head: Come on baby.  
  
Beavis: Yeah! Yeah! Lets do it!  
  
(The start to pull on her jacket)  
  
Daria: Gaah!  
  
(End Dream. She suddenly sits up in her bed.)  
  
Daria: (very out of breath) Oh my god. I promised myself never again. (Knock on the door) Gaah!  
  
Jake: (Entering) It's just me kiddo. It's time for dinner. I made Parmesan Macaroni!  
  
Daria: Ok. Dad, do you ever have dreams about the past?  
  
Jake: Yeah, I have dreams about my dad. All the time, dammit! (Shakes fist at the sky) You hear me old man?? I hate you! You ruined me!!  
  
Daria: Dad, it's okay. He's dead. (Jakes stands up.)  
  
Jake: (throws his arms up in the air) Well, Hallelujah! Holy shit, where's the Tylenol? (Exits)  
  
(Close up of Daria. She smirks her Mona Lisa smile.)  
  
(Opening Scene: Daria outside her locker, Monday morning.)  
  
Daria: No that's not what I'm saying. Oh my god! Shut up. Just cause I'm more popular, you don't have to call me fat. Yeah, you too.  
  
Upchuck: (Walking by) how are you today, my luxurious Daria?  
  
Daria: Well, I was having a fight with myself earlier, but that's all settled now, because we're going to gang up against you.  
  
Upchuck: Rowr! Feisty!  
  
(Daria sighs and walks away. She bumps into Kevin)  
  
Daria: (slight squeak, kind of sounding like Brittany) Ouch!  
  
Kevin: Don't sweat it, babe. Kevvy will make it better.  
  
Daria: (back to deadpan) Babe?  
  
Kevin: Oh my gosh, Daria, that's just sick. I'll see you around. Bye!  
  
(Daria starts running down the hall. She bumps into Mack, holding hands with Jodie)  
  
Mack: Hey Daria. Why are you in such a big rush?  
  
Daria: I'm going to be late for History. (Runs off)  
  
(Mack and Jodie look at each other and shrug. They keep walking)  
  
Daria: This day can't get any worse.  
  
(She hurries into the science room and puts her stuff down.)  
  
Daria: Ms. Barch? I need to ask you something.  
  
Ms. Barch: Yes Daria?  
  
Daria: I had a bad dream last night that I was back in Highland with these two guys I used to know, Beavis and Butt-head. They kept sexually harassing me and then I woke up. Now today, I keep bumping into every male I see. I don't get it.  
  
Ms. Barch: It's their damn charm, but believe me Daria, when you shelter, feed and care for one for twenty-two years and then they walk out on you, You realize they aren't worth it. You've got a bright future ahead of you. You don't need any testosterone-craved, bronco-watching male in on it.  
  
Daria: Thanks, Ms. Barch. I have Mr. D's class now, so I better get going. Bye.  
  
Ms. Barch: Bye Daria.  
  
(Daria exits. She walks to the World history room and takes her seat. Various people are missing.)  
  
Mr. D: May I ask as to why so many students are not present today? Brittany?  
  
Brittany: (twirling hair around her finger, looking vacant.) Um... 'Cause they're not here?  
  
Mr. D: Thank you, Brittany.  
  
Brittany: You're welcome!  
  
Mr. D: Is there some plague I should be Aware of? Kevin?  
  
Kevin: Like those ten plagues in Egypt?  
  
Daria: Exactly like that. Frogs here, Frogs there.  
  
Mr. D: Forget I asked, Kevin.  
  
Kevin: Asked what?  
  
Mr. D: Aggh! (Runs out)  
  
(Quinn and the fashion club enter)  
  
Quinn: I get to teach you history today.  
  
Stacy: Weren't the dresses in the '20's cute?  
  
Quinn: Oh I know, and they made you look so skinny!  
  
Tiffany: That's...the best...part.  
  
Kevin: (shouting from his seat) Quinn! Do your Mr. D imitation again!  
  
Quinn: Well, ok. (Has the voice that she used in Groped by an angel) Excuse me Ms. Li, could I have some money to ruin my student's lives? No? That's your job? Aggh! My eye pops out and I'm really, really ugly and I'm not even cute. Aggh!  
  
(Classroom laughter)  
  
Sandi: Hey, Quinn's water girl or whatever? Would you get me a soda?  
  
Quinn: Me too! One with a teensy-weensy slice of lemon.  
  
Stacy: Me three!  
  
Tiffany: Me...four.  
  
Daria: Nope.  
  
Sandi: And may I enquire as to why not?  
  
Tiffany: Yeah...that's really...mean.  
  
Daria: I'm not your slave.  
  
Sandi: That's obvious. If I had a slave, she would be pretty and have nice clothes.  
  
Quinn: (noticing the tension between her sister and her friends) Hey guys, we have another half hour, let's play truth or dare.  
  
Stacy: What a great idea!  
  
Tiffany: Yeah.  
  
Sandi: Well, I suppose so.  
  
(They sit in a circle. In the order: Quinn, Stacy, Sandi, Tiffany, Upchuck, Jodie, Brittany, Kevin, Daria, Quinn again.)  
  
Quinn: Ok, I'll go first. Um, Kevin. Truth or Dare?  
  
Kevin: Truth.  
  
Quinn: How far have you gone without the other girl being Brittany?  
  
Kevin: Um, all the way.  
  
Brittany: I thought I was your first. Wait, Are you seeing her now?  
  
Kevin: Yeah... I mean no, no way.  
  
Brittany: Woo-oo-o!  
  
Kevin: (turns away) Daria truth or dare?  
  
Daria: Truth.  
  
Kevin: How far have you gone?  
  
Daria: (grimaces and turns away starts to walk out.) I don't have to answer that.  
  
Quinn: Kevin, you dope. Daria hasn't done anything with guys. Right, Daria? (Winks)  
  
Daria: Uh, right. Ok Sandi, truth or dare?  
  
Sandi: Hmmm, I'll take a dare.  
  
Daria: French-kiss Upchuck for 10 seconds, I count.  
  
Sandi: Eww. That is so repulsive. I will not.  
  
Quinn: Sandi, you have to. It's in our pledge! As long as it doesn't involve gaining weight or clashing articles of clothing.  
  
Tiffany: Yeah.  
  
Stacy: Come on, Sandi. We all know it doesn't mean anything.  
  
Sandi: Well alright. (Goes over to Upchuck and Frenchs him)  
  
Daria: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, Ten!  
  
Sandi: Ugh. I think I'm going to vomit. Or whatever.  
  
Jane: (standing in the doorway) Yeah, me too.  
  
Daria: (a little annoyed) Jane.  
  
Jane: (surprised Daria even talked to her) Daria?  
  
Daria: Okay. It was fun playing with you all, but I need to go now. Bye.  
  
(Various bye's as Daria walks out the door.)  
  
(Fade out to Daria and Jane on the roof. Daria sitting with her legs stretched out in front of her, Jane on her knees.)  
  
Jane: Daria? I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have said that-  
  
Daria: No, it's not like that. Back in highland, I- I was a slut. I always wore sexy outfits and lots of makeup. I knew no one would ever really love me, just my body. So I let people use it. I remember starting a car/college fund with the money I got. I got pregnant twice. One time the guy gave me money for an abortion. The other time I wasn't so lucky. The guy decided to beat me hoping one day I would lose the baby. I thought he really loved me before the abuse. (Sigh) Life was okay, but I wished some guy would've liked me for my personality. Then we had to move. Here the people are so much nicer. Must be the stupidity. I still have nightmares about the people from Highland. (Hugs her knees to her chest) In the nightmares I can't get away. There was one nightmare about this guy I used to know, He started undressing me and I couldn't get away from him. I started to cry but he wouldn't stop. I was naked soon, and then he started beating me. Then I woke up. I guess some memories never leave you.  
  
Jane: Daria! Why didn't you tell me sooner? God, we've been friends for 2 years.  
  
Daria: I haven't told anybody. Not even my family. Except Quinn.  
  
Jane: You told her?  
  
Daria: Yes. I-I had to.  
  
Jane: I feel so bad now. I wish I could make the memories leave.  
  
Daria: Yeah, me too. I'd give anything to redo those years.  
  
Jane: So, you want to come to my house? Tom's coming over later.  
  
Daria: Okay, sure.  
  
Jane: Coolness. (Daria grimaces) I've always wanted to say that!  
  
(Opening scene: EXT. Lane house. Opening Chords of Mandy Moore's Candy. Cut to Jane's room, where daria, in a baby tee and super short shorts is laying her head over the side the bed. Her Hair falls loosely under her. Jane is wearing her black tee shirt with the white border and the shorts from her normal outfit, She's giving herself a crystal tattoo.)  
  
Jane: Dammit. These things keep falling off. (Holds up a rhinestone)  
  
Daria: Gee, have you tries using your glue gun to stick them on.  
  
Jane: Nope.  
  
-Long pause-  
  
Daria: oh. When I wear a baby-tee, you know it's hot. What happened to your air conditioning?  
  
Jane: Probably those damn cats, Zachary and Taylor  
  
Daria: Have you ever tried getting one named Isaac and teaching them to sing "MMMbop?"  
  
Jane: Next on Sick Sad World (distressful) Ugh, no more cats. (Brightens) Can I try to stick one on you? Maybe it'll work for you.  
  
Daria: I think whether or not I want one you'll do it anyway.  
  
Jane: You know me too well.  
  
Daria: Fine, just do it. (Stands up. Her wild hair flows down and around her shoulders.)  
  
(Jane picks a heart shaped one up and sticks it on. Sorry, that's about as much detail as I can go to cause I've never had one.)  
  
Jane: Okay, time for the moment of truth. (Pulls back the paper away. It sticks perfectly.)  
  
Daria: Damn, I'm good.  
  
Jane: (Doing a Brittany voice) That's so cute, Daria.  
(Camera zooms in to see a few small crystals in the shape of a heart, to the camera's right, then down.)  
  
Daria: (Brittany voice) Now can I be on the cheerleading squad?  
  
(Neither girls notice Trent is standing outside the doorway with Tom)  
  
Jane: (Brittany voice again) Not till you get a boyfriend, missy. And don't even think about stealing my Kevvy again!  
  
Daria: (Brittany) But he's so cute!  
  
Jane: (Brittany) No way.  
  
Daria: (Brittany) Oh Daria and Jane, what should I do? I have to get a boyfriend to make the squad.  
  
Jane: (Jane) So date my brother.  
  
Daria: (Daria voice, warningly) Jane!  
  
Jane: Sorry, but my brother's taken, my cheerleader friend.  
  
Daria: Okay, enough cheerleaders! Bye! What the hell was that about, telling the cheerleader who happened to be like me to date your brother?  
  
Jane: I don't know. Okay, time for moment of Truth, again. (Pulls paper from her thigh) Dammit! It never works for me.  
  
Daria: What is that? Or what was that?  
  
Jane: Trying to spell out Tom.  
  
Daria: Funny, from her it looks like "mot"  
  
Jane: Dammit, I forgot about backwards-ism.  
  
Daria: It's okay, Jane. I still love you.  
  
(Camera back to Tom and Trent. They look horrified. Trent steps in.)  
  
Trent: (Sees Daria's outfit) Hey, Daria.  
  
Daria: He's just another guy. Don't be afraid. Even though you're wearing practically nothing and your hairs a mess. Oh, Hell. Um, hi Trent.  
  
Jane: Hello Trenton. What's the good news in the world? (sits down on the bed)  
  
Trent: Don't call me that. The good news is that your boyfriend is here.  
  
Jane: (to daria) And you didn't even tell me you a boyfriend.  
  
Trent: No, Janey. Your boyfriend.  
  
Jane: Oh. Tom! (Runs to him)  
  
Tom: Hey. Oh hey daria.  
  
Daria: Here we go again. Um, Hi.  
  
Jane: (Tom goes to sit by Jane) Hey Trent, got any plans tonight?  
  
Trent: Yeah. I have a date with Monique. (Daria looks distressed) It's our on-week.  
  
Daria: Have fun.  
  
Trent: Thanks Daria. But actually, she's just coming over and were gonna watch a movie.  
  
Daria: (bitter) Yay for you.  
  
Tom: Tough day on the farm again?  
  
Trent: I still don't get it.  
  
Jane: (sighs, very quiet to Tom) I wish Daria had a boyfriend.  
  
(There are three doorbell rings. Everyone but Trent grimaces.)  
  
Trent: That's Monique.  
  
Daria: Okay, bye Trent.  
  
(As Trent walks out, she slams the door behind him.)  
  
Daria: Men.  
  
Tom: Why does Trent still go out with Monique? It doesn't seem like they like each other. (Jane whispers something to Tom) Oh yeah. Should have guess that.  
  
Daria: What? The fact I don't dress in clothes five sizes too small?  
  
Jane: No, Daria. I wasn't going to tell you, because it would hurt you. But in light of what you told me this afternoon. I think I will.  
  
Daria: Go ahead.  
  
Jane: Monique... well, Monique likes to make Trent happy. Use your imagination.  
  
Daria: (winces) So neither one of us...  
  
Jane: Nope.  
  
(All of a sudden, the door to Jane's room in opened. Enter Trent and Monique, hand in hand.)  
  
Trent: Hey Janey, Tom. Meet Monique.  
  
Daria: I guess I don't get to meet her.  
  
Jane: Trent, I already know Monique.  
  
Trent: Oh yeah. (Flashes his cute, goofy smile.)  
  
Tom: Hi, I'm Tom. It's nice meeting you.  
  
Monique: (smiles) Yeah, you too. Who are you again? (Points to Daria)  
  
Daria: The almighty Britney Spears.  
  
Trent: (laughs and Coughs) Good one.  
  
Monique: Who's Britney Spears?  
  
Jane: She isn't really Britney Spears.  
  
Daria: My name is Miss Mary Mack.  
  
Jane: Mack, Mack.  
  
Monique: (Whiny) I'm getting confused.  
  
Daria: (twisting hair around her finger. She does a perfect imitation of Brittany.) All the guys call me baby...  
  
Jane: (through laughs) And the girls, too.  
  
Daria: (Quinn voice) So many dates, so little time. Could you get me a soda? (Jane and Tom look like their gonna die of laughter. Daria does a tiffany impression.) This...is...so...wrong...my...thighs...are...so...bulgy... (Changes to Sandi) My name is Sandi Griffin, fashion club president. Unless someone, Quinn, wants to take over my spot, Quinn, because they can do a better job.  
  
Jane: (In tears) Whom does she really suspect?  
  
Daria: (Jake) My name is Jake... I hate my father... hear that old man? I hate you!! I can't believe I lost another client. (Not even thinking about it any more, Trent impression) Hi, we're Mystik Spiral. But we might change our name to something more pathetic. (Daria realizes Trent's still there. Back to her voice) Oh.  
  
Jane: (stops laughing.) Oh no.  
  
Trent: (looks truly hurt) C'mon, Monique. Let's go.  
  
Daria: (still in shock as Trent leaves.) Oh no.  
  
Jane: Well that sucked. There goes your chance.  
  
Daria: (turns away) He's just another guy. Oh well.  
  
Tom: What is he so worked up about? I was nice to his girlfriend.  
  
Jane: Yeah, what was that nice meeting you bit?  
  
Tom: Something they teach in private school. I'm just used to using it.  
  
Jane: Oh. Tom, look. (She points to the mess of a crystal tattoo on her thigh.)  
  
Tom: Who is mot?  
  
Jane: It's your name, backwards. Hey, can't say I didn't try. (Notices Daria's navel is pierced again.) When did you get that redone? (Granny voice) Oh, Tom, our little girl's growing up.  
  
Tom: Huh? We have a little girl?  
  
Daria: With Trent.  
  
Jane: Tom, you've been hanging around someone way too much.  
  
Tom: Huh? Who?  
  
Jane: Tren- (Sees Daria is still disturbed about it) Um, Jesse.  
  
Tom: Hey, Jesse's cool. A little dumb, but he's hilarious.  
  
Jane: I know, Tom. I've been there.  
  
Tom: You have?  
  
Jane: Yeah, he used to have a crush on me. I flirted back for some time, but we never actually went out.  
  
Tom: Oh. That's a relief.  
  
Daria: Jane? Can I paint something? I just got an inspiration.  
  
Jane: You? Paint? (Starts laughing hysterically)  
  
Daria: Fine then. I'll tell you what to paint.  
  
Jane: Um...okay, I guess.  
  
Daria: Draw a picture of (whispers)  
  
Jane: Oh, come on. Here, you do it.  
  
Daria: Yeah that's what I thought.  
  
(Daria starts painting. Video montage, we can't see what she's painting. Cut to a while later. Daria is sweating vigorously)  
  
Daria: There. All done.  
  
(She turns around the easel to show Tom and Jane. They gasp. Pan to the painting. It is of Jane and Tom on their wedding day; even though no one knows what their wedding will be like if they do get married. Jane has long Black hair that flows down her black and onto her white halter-top wedding dress. The dress cascades to the floor. Tom is wearing a tux. Daria is on one side as the Maid of honor. Daria is wearing an Everest tube dress her hair is up in a bun and she is wearing contacts. Trent is next too Tom as the Best man. Trent is looking at Daria with eyes of longing. Daria is looking at Tom and Jane happily. Tom is just about to put the ring on Jane's finger.)  
  
Jane: Daria, that's really good.  
  
Tom: Yeah, it is. I didn't know you could paint so well. Watch it Jane, there's a new artist in town.  
  
Daria: Well everything I know about art I learned from Jane.  
  
(A severely tousled Trent walks in.)  
  
Trent: Is Daria gone yet?  
  
Daria: (bitter) No Trent. I'm still here. And I will be until tomorrow morning.  
  
Trent: Oh. Good painting, Janey.  
  
Jane: Actually Trent, Daria painted that.  
  
Trent: Oh. Good Painting, Daria. (Smiles)  
  
Jane: Is Monique gone yet?  
  
Trent: Janey, it's One A.M. our off-week starts at one after twelve tonight. So we're over. (Daria half-smiles.) Hey Daria, Could I talk to you?  
  
Daria: I don't know. Can you? Um... Sure.  
  
(They Exit. Camera follows them as they walk.)  
  
Daria: So what did you want to talk to me about?  
  
Trent: About your impression earlier. Did you mean that?  
  
Daria: No. I would never diss the spiral.  
  
Trent: That's good. It didn't sound like the real Daria talking.  
  
(They enter Trent's room and sit on his bed.)  
  
Daria: No it wasn't. It was my twin-sister, Maria. Evil woman.  
  
Trent: Huh? You have a twin sister?  
  
Daria: No, Trent. It was sarcasm.  
  
Trent: Oh. I get it. Well listen, here's this new song. Can you go over it and tell me if it's good?  
  
Daria: Sure. (Reads it. It says:   
  
You're an angel in black,  
You sure have the knack,  
For putting my heart,  
On the shelf in back.  
  
I'm waiting my turn,  
Oh, When will I learn?  
My poor heart,  
You're giving it freezer burn.)  
  
Daria: Trent, you've already used this song.  
  
Trent: Really? I thought it sounded familiar. (Both smirk.)  
  
End Credits: M2M  
  
Lyrics:  
Every time I think I've had enough of you I take you back again, not because I need a friend, just because I can't pretend, like the others do.  
You think you're really serious, clever and mysterious, talking like you're dangerous, talking like a fool.  
Every day there's someone else who wants to get with me, I'm telling you, if you know what's good for you, Treat me like you used to do, And I'll be like before.  
'Cause all I can do is watch and wonder where that boy I know has gone. You say that you want me well it's time to tell your friends where they belong.  
  
Makeovers:   
Daria as Lisa Simpson  
Trent as an insomniac  
Jane as a starfish  
Daria as a Pokemon trainer  
Tom as a centaur.  
Kevin as a football  
Sandi as a geek  
Quinn as a Queen  
Trent as a river  
Two Toms as Gemini.  
Brittany as a boy  
Upchuck as barf.  
Jesse as Santa  
Daria is that one where you're in the grave and she has a shovel, a murderer type thing that's already been shown. I love that one!  
  
The End.  



End file.
